Philosophical Counselling
The earliest recorded words of the Buddha state: "All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts." The ancient Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius wrote: "The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the colour of your thoughts." The Judeo-Christian proverbs state that "As you think, so shall you be." A modern cognitive-behavioural therapist writes that "The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human can alter [their] life by altering [their] thoughts." The twentieth century philosopher Iris Murdoch wrote: "Man is a creature who makes pictures of himself, and then comes to resemble the picture." And the greatest of them all--Bruce Lee--said "As you think, so shall you become." Thinking is more than cold reason; to think well is to intentionally direct our heart and the mind. It is to choose a way of seeing. That leads to a certain way of experiencing, and of being. Life can do many things to us, but what matters most is what we do in response. The biggest factor is how we choose to direct our heart and mind, or in very concrete language, how we think. I combine counselling with the power of philosophical reflection--the art of thinking well--to help people direct their mind and heart in better ways, to improve themselves and their lives.
Philosophical Counselling is the combination of philosophy and counselling.
Counselling is a set of conversational skills and a way of being which elicits clarity and motivation in a client. These "conversational skills" include skillful ways of questioning, which help people become disentangled and more clear and motivated. That "way of being" includes honesty and empathy, creating a space where we are safe enough (care, respect) to be courageously truthful, which is the key to growth and change.
Philosophy is a term coined by Plato, which means love of wisdom or pursuit of wisdom. In the context of my philosophical counselling we can divide philosophy into two aspects. First, it is a repository of wisdom, the collection of the insights of the finest minds and hearts from across the millennia, which shed light on many aspects of life. Second, philosophy is a practice: a discipline for thinking well. To think well is to exercise "the intellectual virtues" including rationality, openness, fairness, creativity, imagination, and so forth. A philosophical counsellor reflects on your concerns with you, in a way that exercises these virtues, helping you to apply your mind and heart to things--to think--in ways that are more true and beneficial for life. While today philosophy is mostly done by scholars, ancient philosophy was practiced by anybody who cared about thinking and thus living well, and that is how I practice philosophy.
Of course, we could also speak of counselling with reference to this distinction. Counselling as I described it above is a practice for getting clarity and motivation. It is also a repository of insights which emerge from such clarity. Counselling in general includes a collective tradition of insights shared among counsellors, built up over a century of helping people struggle with all aspects of life. Individual counsellors who, like myself, have decades of experience have also built up their own specific insights and so wisdom, which they have gained from thousands of conversations with people at the coal face of life. As a reflective counsellor hears the private confessions of so many people, they start to recognise many patterns and possibilities, and they bring such knowledge to each new client. While counsellors may draw on science and technology where it is relevant, that is not at the heart of good counselling. In this respect, counselling is very different to clinical approaches to therapy which are technocratic. Rather, counselling is about observing human life as it is experienced by hearts and minds, and building up a shared tradition of insight and wisdom based on that experience. Good counselling is less a technology, and more of a wisdom practice. Of course, some people prefer a technocratic view; they want to have something done to them, to fix their problems, and such people may find counselling frustrating. Counselling is for people who recognise that their own efforts are primary, with respect to both their inward and their outward life, but who also recognise that the skills and wisdom of counselling can help them in their efforts. Of course, life sometimes involves both aspects, for example the clinical approach might involve medication which helps, while the person also does their own work of personal growth.
The above considerations suggest that there is quite a natural marriage between counselling and philosophy, with each improving the other. Returning to the point of how vital philosophy is for the issues which are traditionally brough to counselling, below are a series of typical questions which we wrestle with in life. As you read them, you may notice that, while there are practical and psychological aspects to each question, yet they are in essence philosophical questions. They are first of all philosophical, and only secondarily practical and psychological. At the same time, we can integrate all three elements, and this is where my service is counselling too, rather than just philosophy.
What truly matters in life? What should I aim at? What is it to be good--a genuinely decent human being--and how do I become more good? How do I balance that with my contraints and other desires in life? How do live it without being exploited or abused? Indeed, should I choose to become more cynical and hard instead? And if the answer involves both armouring myself and remaining open and kind, how do I manage the risks of the latter? As I reflect on these questions I realise that there are multiple ways I could be as a person, with many good arguments for different options, so how do I choose? How do I navigate conflicting values or concerns within myself, or in conflict with others? Should I see myself more as an individual or as part of a group (couple, family, community)? Should I accept how I am, or try to change, and if the latter am I wisely overcoming my ego, or fooling myself as I cave to social pressure? How much should I try to change others, and what does such influence legitimately involve? What is it to be happy, and how do I create a genuinely happy life? Is happiness the highest goal, or is there something else? Is happiness one thing, or a combination of things, and what are they? How much of happiness is something I create, and how much of it is chance? How does mindset and effort influence this? Is anxiety merely a disorder in need of clinical treatment, or does it reflect something essential to existence and the human condition, such that it calls for a different, deeper response? What about other feelings such as anger, guilt, despair, or sorrow? What is the meaning(s) of the different emotions? How do I distinguish between anger which is healthy and just, and anger which merely expresses my egotism? In general, how do I become more lucid and less delusional? Am I adequately rational, and how can I know? What is the ideal form of being rational, and how does that balance with emotion and intuition, and how do I achieve that ideal? What is my purpose in life? Do I invent or discover it? Likewise, is value or meaning real, or a mere preference? What kinds of value are there in life, and how do I weigh them? For example, self-care versus other-care, security versus open experience, independence versus dependence, aloneness versus togetherness, relative values versus more absolute values, and so on. What values am I currently living out, perhaps without awareness? How do I cultivate and embody my new insights, given my tendency to fear or despair and an associated lack of discipline? How do I know my answers to these questions are sound, for example that I will not come to regret my direction and form of life later on...when "it is too late"? And what does "too late" actually amount to? How can I feel at home in the world, and experience the world as a good place? How do I make sense of evil or suffering? How should I respond to such things, whether it is "moral evils" such as casual callousness or gratuitous cruelty, or "natural evils" such as chronic pain or natural disasters? How do I contend with the "banal evil" in myself--my inward violence, or callousness, or simple selfishness and stupidity? How do I contend with that in others? Is there a philosophy which can make me stronger in coping with life's evils? What is it to love a person, and what am I loving in another? What is my loved one after they die? Should I "move on" or dedicate myself to their memory, and how do I navigate such contradictions and complexities? Should I offer unconditional love, or tough love, to my difficult friend or adult child? What if either decision goes horribly wrong, for example my child's life goes badly? How do I live lucidly but healthily with any regrets? What is freedom, and in reality do I actually want it, or am I afraid of it and avoiding it? How do I live with the disappointments of what I wanted but could not have? Is life asking more of me? Is there some meaningful possibility which I need to explore and perhaps to pursue? What more is available to me to make life worthwhile when I am gripped by suffering, despair, poverty, or pain? What is true joy and can a generate a bit more of that? How do I get out of my head, or out of my ego, to find greater nourishment in life? What activities make me a happier person, and why--what I am connecting with? I want to believe in God but I am having trouble, what does philosophy tell me? I am an atheist and want to find more meaning, how can philosophy help me? Is it worth striving for answers, or is this all just a meaningless game? What is death, and how am I reacting to mine, perhaps in ways I have not examined?
Many of the above questions are asked in dichotomous ways--either this or that--which is a good starting point for exploration, however the questions and the answers often become more complex and nuanced. These questions are also asked in a general way, but my point is to consider how they are vital and concrete issues in your life, the stuff of daily care and striving. Indeed, philosophy is reflection with moves back and forth, between the universal (or general) and the particular, each informing the other. These questions are also weighted toward the negative, because it is mostly pain that motivates a person to seek counselling, however life is both suffering and happiness, and the good things of life are an equal focus of my approach. When I say that these questions are philosophical first of all, and only secondarily practical or psychological, I am reminded of the claim that a person who can find a Why, can find a How. If you want something badly enough, you can make it happen, you can find the means, or overcome the psychological tangles. The issue is in the wanting: issues of meaning and value, of purpose and direction. As a dynamic human being you will readily find your own way forward, insofar as you have sorted those things out.
I said that philosophy is both wise reflection, and a repository of wisdom gathered through the ages. This distinction points to some of the activities of Philosophical Counselling. There is much exploration of ideas in this work, including not only your own ideas, but perspectives from philosophy. We draw on philosophy's repository. This is an active, two-way conversation, where we shift between the big picture "out there"--reality and its possibilities--and you in particular, including the subtle depths of your subjective experience. As I say, this is also to engage in philosophy as the facilitaion of wise reflection. In particular, this amounts to the exercise of the intellectual virtues. That is, we engage in reflection that is rational, critical, creative, just, perceptive, humble, courageous, and so forth. This concern with the virtues--both the intellectual virtues and the character virtues--lies at the heart of classical philosophy. In this sense, philosophy is the effort to draw forth and cultivate all that is best in you as a human being, at the level of the head, the heart, and the hands. Philosophy is an education and training in the ongoing cultivation of all this "best" that is in you. This tradition is often referred to as Virtue Ethics. Of course, you will already possess many virtues, but Philosophical Counselling helps you to recognise where you are deficient or lacking in certain virtues which you need for a better life, and it helps you to cultivate them, plus with respect to those you clearly possess, it helps you to improve, hone, and round them out, including with respect to your blind spots and growth edges. For this reason, the goals of Philosophical Counselling include your stated goals, but it goes further. It is often like an education and a training: in philosophical wisdom, but also an induction into the better practice of the virtues and the cultivation of those within you. You go to a personal trainer to develop your body, and you go to philosophical counselling to develop your mind, heart, and life.
Beyond the benefits of better ideas, better reflection, and the cultivation of the virtues, there is a further benefit to Philosophical Counselling. The psychiatrist Viktor Frankl noted, in the context of his experience as a prisoner of various Nazi death camps, that it was not those who were strong in body that survived, but rather those who had a rich inner life. Philosophical Counselling is about more than problems, it is about flourishing. Flourishing is increased through the cultivation of a rich inner life. I have an enduring love of ancient and classical philosophy, and literature, and the humanising effect of these, and their enriching effect on our lives. This is a secondary element in my philosophical counselling, but it is a wonderful and powerful aspect nonetheless.
As a philosopher I am rooted in ancient philosophy: Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, the Stoics, Plotinus, and in the modern philosophers who continue these insights. I am educated in such philosophy, and my personal life has been the exploration and living out of these ideas. I combine this with skills, experience and knowledge gained from decades as a therapist, having worked with thousands of people at the coal-face of life, hearing their secrets and helping them in their struggles and striving. My vocation is that of a philosopher and a counsellor, a philosophical counsellor who helps people to free themselves and to deepen and enrich their hearts and minds and lives. This is what I offer to the people who come see me.
The earliest recorded words of the Buddha state: "All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts." The ancient Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius wrote: "The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the colour of your thoughts." The Judeo-Christian proverbs state that "As you think, so shall you be." A modern cognitive-behavioural therapist writes that "The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human can alter [their] life by altering [their] thoughts." The twentieth century philosopher Iris Murdoch wrote: "Man is a creature who makes pictures of himself, and then comes to resemble the picture." And the greatest of them all--Bruce Lee--said "As you think, so shall you become." Thinking is more than cold reason; to think well is to intentionally direct our heart and the mind. It is to choose a way of seeing. That leads to a certain way of experiencing, and of being. Life can do many things to us, but what matters most is what we do in response. The biggest factor is how we choose to direct our heart and mind, or in very concrete language, how we think. I combine counselling with the power of philosophical reflection--the art of thinking well--to help people direct their mind and heart in better ways, to improve themselves and their lives.
Philosophical Counselling is the combination of philosophy and counselling.
Counselling is a set of conversational skills and a way of being which elicits clarity and motivation in a client. These "conversational skills" include skillful ways of questioning, which help people become disentangled and more clear and motivated. That "way of being" includes honesty and empathy, creating a space where we are safe enough (care, respect) to be courageously truthful, which is the key to growth and change.
Philosophy is a term coined by Plato, which means love of wisdom or pursuit of wisdom. In the context of my philosophical counselling we can divide philosophy into two aspects. First, it is a repository of wisdom, the collection of the insights of the finest minds and hearts from across the millennia, which shed light on many aspects of life. Second, philosophy is a practice: a discipline for thinking well. To think well is to exercise "the intellectual virtues" including rationality, openness, fairness, creativity, imagination, and so forth. A philosophical counsellor reflects on your concerns with you, in a way that exercises these virtues, helping you to apply your mind and heart to things--to think--in ways that are more true and beneficial for life. While today philosophy is mostly done by scholars, ancient philosophy was practiced by anybody who cared about thinking and thus living well, and that is how I practice philosophy.
Of course, we could also speak of counselling with reference to this distinction. Counselling as I described it above is a practice for getting clarity and motivation. It is also a repository of insights which emerge from such clarity. Counselling in general includes a collective tradition of insights shared among counsellors, built up over a century of helping people struggle with all aspects of life. Individual counsellors who, like myself, have decades of experience have also built up their own specific insights and so wisdom, which they have gained from thousands of conversations with people at the coal face of life. As a reflective counsellor hears the private confessions of so many people, they start to recognise many patterns and possibilities, and they bring such knowledge to each new client. While counsellors may draw on science and technology where it is relevant, that is not at the heart of good counselling. In this respect, counselling is very different to clinical approaches to therapy which are technocratic. Rather, counselling is about observing human life as it is experienced by hearts and minds, and building up a shared tradition of insight and wisdom based on that experience. Good counselling is less a technology, and more of a wisdom practice. Of course, some people prefer a technocratic view; they want to have something done to them, to fix their problems, and such people may find counselling frustrating. Counselling is for people who recognise that their own efforts are primary, with respect to both their inward and their outward life, but who also recognise that the skills and wisdom of counselling can help them in their efforts. Of course, life sometimes involves both aspects, for example the clinical approach might involve medication which helps, while the person also does their own work of personal growth.
The above considerations suggest that there is quite a natural marriage between counselling and philosophy, with each improving the other. Returning to the point of how vital philosophy is for the issues which are traditionally brough to counselling, below are a series of typical questions which we wrestle with in life. As you read them, you may notice that, while there are practical and psychological aspects to each question, yet they are in essence philosophical questions. They are first of all philosophical, and only secondarily practical and psychological. At the same time, we can integrate all three elements, and this is where my service is counselling too, rather than just philosophy.
What truly matters in life? What should I aim at? What is it to be good--a genuinely decent human being--and how do I become more good? How do I balance that with my contraints and other desires in life? How do live it without being exploited or abused? Indeed, should I choose to become more cynical and hard instead? And if the answer involves both armouring myself and remaining open and kind, how do I manage the risks of the latter? As I reflect on these questions I realise that there are multiple ways I could be as a person, with many good arguments for different options, so how do I choose? How do I navigate conflicting values or concerns within myself, or in conflict with others? Should I see myself more as an individual or as part of a group (couple, family, community)? Should I accept how I am, or try to change, and if the latter am I wisely overcoming my ego, or fooling myself as I cave to social pressure? How much should I try to change others, and what does such influence legitimately involve? What is it to be happy, and how do I create a genuinely happy life? Is happiness the highest goal, or is there something else? Is happiness one thing, or a combination of things, and what are they? How much of happiness is something I create, and how much of it is chance? How does mindset and effort influence this? Is anxiety merely a disorder in need of clinical treatment, or does it reflect something essential to existence and the human condition, such that it calls for a different, deeper response? What about other feelings such as anger, guilt, despair, or sorrow? What is the meaning(s) of the different emotions? How do I distinguish between anger which is healthy and just, and anger which merely expresses my egotism? In general, how do I become more lucid and less delusional? Am I adequately rational, and how can I know? What is the ideal form of being rational, and how does that balance with emotion and intuition, and how do I achieve that ideal? What is my purpose in life? Do I invent or discover it? Likewise, is value or meaning real, or a mere preference? What kinds of value are there in life, and how do I weigh them? For example, self-care versus other-care, security versus open experience, independence versus dependence, aloneness versus togetherness, relative values versus more absolute values, and so on. What values am I currently living out, perhaps without awareness? How do I cultivate and embody my new insights, given my tendency to fear or despair and an associated lack of discipline? How do I know my answers to these questions are sound, for example that I will not come to regret my direction and form of life later on...when "it is too late"? And what does "too late" actually amount to? How can I feel at home in the world, and experience the world as a good place? How do I make sense of evil or suffering? How should I respond to such things, whether it is "moral evils" such as casual callousness or gratuitous cruelty, or "natural evils" such as chronic pain or natural disasters? How do I contend with the "banal evil" in myself--my inward violence, or callousness, or simple selfishness and stupidity? How do I contend with that in others? Is there a philosophy which can make me stronger in coping with life's evils? What is it to love a person, and what am I loving in another? What is my loved one after they die? Should I "move on" or dedicate myself to their memory, and how do I navigate such contradictions and complexities? Should I offer unconditional love, or tough love, to my difficult friend or adult child? What if either decision goes horribly wrong, for example my child's life goes badly? How do I live lucidly but healthily with any regrets? What is freedom, and in reality do I actually want it, or am I afraid of it and avoiding it? How do I live with the disappointments of what I wanted but could not have? Is life asking more of me? Is there some meaningful possibility which I need to explore and perhaps to pursue? What more is available to me to make life worthwhile when I am gripped by suffering, despair, poverty, or pain? What is true joy and can a generate a bit more of that? How do I get out of my head, or out of my ego, to find greater nourishment in life? What activities make me a happier person, and why--what I am connecting with? I want to believe in God but I am having trouble, what does philosophy tell me? I am an atheist and want to find more meaning, how can philosophy help me? Is it worth striving for answers, or is this all just a meaningless game? What is death, and how am I reacting to mine, perhaps in ways I have not examined?
Many of the above questions are asked in dichotomous ways--either this or that--which is a good starting point for exploration, however the questions and the answers often become more complex and nuanced. These questions are also asked in a general way, but my point is to consider how they are vital and concrete issues in your life, the stuff of daily care and striving. Indeed, philosophy is reflection with moves back and forth, between the universal (or general) and the particular, each informing the other. These questions are also weighted toward the negative, because it is mostly pain that motivates a person to seek counselling, however life is both suffering and happiness, and the good things of life are an equal focus of my approach. When I say that these questions are philosophical first of all, and only secondarily practical or psychological, I am reminded of the claim that a person who can find a Why, can find a How. If you want something badly enough, you can make it happen, you can find the means, or overcome the psychological tangles. The issue is in the wanting: issues of meaning and value, of purpose and direction. As a dynamic human being you will readily find your own way forward, insofar as you have sorted those things out.
I said that philosophy is both wise reflection, and a repository of wisdom gathered through the ages. This distinction points to some of the activities of Philosophical Counselling. There is much exploration of ideas in this work, including not only your own ideas, but perspectives from philosophy. We draw on philosophy's repository. This is an active, two-way conversation, where we shift between the big picture "out there"--reality and its possibilities--and you in particular, including the subtle depths of your subjective experience. As I say, this is also to engage in philosophy as the facilitaion of wise reflection. In particular, this amounts to the exercise of the intellectual virtues. That is, we engage in reflection that is rational, critical, creative, just, perceptive, humble, courageous, and so forth. This concern with the virtues--both the intellectual virtues and the character virtues--lies at the heart of classical philosophy. In this sense, philosophy is the effort to draw forth and cultivate all that is best in you as a human being, at the level of the head, the heart, and the hands. Philosophy is an education and training in the ongoing cultivation of all this "best" that is in you. This tradition is often referred to as Virtue Ethics. Of course, you will already possess many virtues, but Philosophical Counselling helps you to recognise where you are deficient or lacking in certain virtues which you need for a better life, and it helps you to cultivate them, plus with respect to those you clearly possess, it helps you to improve, hone, and round them out, including with respect to your blind spots and growth edges. For this reason, the goals of Philosophical Counselling include your stated goals, but it goes further. It is often like an education and a training: in philosophical wisdom, but also an induction into the better practice of the virtues and the cultivation of those within you. You go to a personal trainer to develop your body, and you go to philosophical counselling to develop your mind, heart, and life.
Beyond the benefits of better ideas, better reflection, and the cultivation of the virtues, there is a further benefit to Philosophical Counselling. The psychiatrist Viktor Frankl noted, in the context of his experience as a prisoner of various Nazi death camps, that it was not those who were strong in body that survived, but rather those who had a rich inner life. Philosophical Counselling is about more than problems, it is about flourishing. Flourishing is increased through the cultivation of a rich inner life. I have an enduring love of ancient and classical philosophy, and literature, and the humanising effect of these, and their enriching effect on our lives. This is a secondary element in my philosophical counselling, but it is a wonderful and powerful aspect nonetheless.
As a philosopher I am rooted in ancient philosophy: Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, the Stoics, Plotinus, and in the modern philosophers who continue these insights. I am educated in such philosophy, and my personal life has been the exploration and living out of these ideas. I combine this with skills, experience and knowledge gained from decades as a therapist, having worked with thousands of people at the coal-face of life, hearing their secrets and helping them in their struggles and striving. My vocation is that of a philosopher and a counsellor, a philosophical counsellor who helps people to free themselves and to deepen and enrich their hearts and minds and lives. This is what I offer to the people who come see me.